I Drive Your Truck
by Inspiration17
Summary: It hurt. It hurt so bad. Talking to a piece of stone isn't enough. He needs something, something to help the pain go away. Something that makes him feel just a little less alone. Rated for char. death. SasuNaru Modern world


It was a monster, orange and loud. Everywhere it went people would turn and stare, shocked that such a thing had the audacity to show up in civilized places. Sasuke had always hated it. He hated the color, the noise, the smell. Just like everyone else in that town, he couldn't stand to be around the disgusting thing.

But as the sun began to creep over the mountain, he found himself walking toward the beat up thing. He, and everyone else, had avoided it for months, but he just couldn't anymore.

At first, the old truck had just been a reminder, a nagging presence that forced him to remember blue skies and sunny smiles every time he glanced over, forced him to remember what he had lost. Then, somehow, it became a lifeline.

Sasuke made sure to knock the mud off his boots before stepping into the driver's seat. Naruto always hated having mud in his car. Even with all the clutter left sprawled across the seats, there would never be mud in his baby.

The feeling was immediate. It all felt so Naruto that for a moment Sasuke wasn't sure he could stand it. Eighty-nine cents worth of odd coins were shoved in the ash tray- almost enough for a soda at Tsunade's diner. A half-empty orange Gatorade was lying in the passenger seat on top of a dirty cap.

Sasuke reached out to grab the cap but stopped himself. It wasn't placed there specially, Naruto had probably thrown it off when the wind threatened to steal it out the open window, but he couldn't move it. It was in its final resting place.

Dog tags dangled from the rearview mirror, and from his angle Sasuke could just make out Naruto Uzumaki embedded in the metal. The blonde had been so proud the day he received those tags. He smiled big and bright, saying that finally his life would mean something.

A buzzing filled the empty cabin. Sasuke fumbled his phone out of his jean pockets and flipped it open.

"This is Sasuke."

"Hello dear. You missed breakfast."

His mother, his sweet mother. She hadn't stopped worrying over him since they'd received the news. It was like every time they were in the same room, her sad eyes would follow him. Just like the truck, all it did was remind him.

"I wasn't hungry," he replied evenly.

"Where are you?"

"I just went out for a drive."

"Have you been to the cemetery yet?"

No. He hadn't stopped foot in the cemetery since the funeral, and even then she stayed for as short a time as possible. He considered going, but a stone was just a stone. The words engraved might be sentimental, and the flag folded on top might impress everyone else, but it wouldn't help. Despite what was beneath the ground, Naruto wasn't really there.

"I don't think that's where I need to be."

The line was quiet. He could hear her breaths muffled, most likely from the hand that she was using to try and stop him from hearing her tears.

"Ok, sweetie, I understand. Just make sure you're home for supper."

Sasuke promised and ended the call. He had told her he went for a drive- might as well be truthful.

The keys were in the cup holder, as they'd always been. Despite how much he loved the old heap, Naruto knew no one would take it. It was the most banged up truck in town, and no matter how much he bragged, the blonde still spent at least a couple hours every Sunday working on the motor, trying to get it to run for another week.

Sasuke could almost see it, him leaning casually on the work bench as Naruto, shirt off and jeans greasy, leaned over the open truck bed. While he worked they would talk, teasing each other, drinking a couple beers they stole from their dads. Sasuke never laughed that much with anyone. Even in the blazing summer heat with only old fans to move around the sticky air, Naruto could make the raven smile.

He pushed the key in gently, wiggling it like Naruto always did. The engine roared to life, and that old country station Naruto always like blared from the speakers. Sasuke didn't adjust it.

He backed down the gravel drive slowly before pushing the clutch into gear on the main road. The leather steering wheel felt good under his hands, familiar, but it wasn't quite right. Not yet.

It didn't take long to leave the small downtown. Soon he was driving by the old creek without a building in sight. Another mile and he'd be on the interstate.

He swerved off the paved road and onto a dirt one. It was bumpy, but the truck barreled through. He passed crops and herds of cattle grazing, the same ones he and Naruto used to play around when they were kids. They were always getting into something, always dirty. No one in town thought they'd amount to anything besides trouble, especially Naruto, and for all of their teenage years those nosy people were right.

But they were just boys, and boys grow up, even little blonde ones who never know when to shut up. And as far as Sasuke was concerned, Naruto became a _damn_ fine man, and he almost wished he hadn't.

Looking out in the fields, Sasuke could almost see two little boys running around. The blonde clutched the raven's hand, pulling him along to their next adventure. And the raven followed willingly, because as long as they were together they could slay any dragon, stop any robbers, conquer any kingdom.

But now Sasuke had to do it on his own.

A tear slid down his pale cheek, and Sasuke rubbed it away hastily. If Naruto were there, he'd probably punch his arm and call the raven a sap.

Sasuke could imagine the laugh his tears would get, but he couldn't help it. He had trying his best to be tough, but it just wasn't enough anymore.

Suddenly, he slammed the gas down and sped off the road into the field. The thick tires tore easily over the just budding grass. He swerved, spinning the vehicle until a giant arch of dust flew into the sky.

And for a moment, it didn't hurt.

Wind raced through the open windows, gripping at his hair and clothes. He kept turning, kept spinning. He wasn't sure who was in control- him or the truck, but he kept pressing the gas harder and harder.

Then, with a loud splutter, the engine gave. The truck heaved to a stop, and a couple minutes Sasuke stomped the pedal, screaming every time it refused to move forward.

"You piece of shit!"

He threw open the door and jumped out, finally seeing the mess he'd made of the field. He didn't care. He just kicked the tire, screamed again, and started banging his fists on the rusting orange door.

"Why, huh, why? Why did this happen? Why to him? Why did you leave me alone, Naruto?"

He shouted curses, yelling at everything and nothing. All the hurt that seemed to quell when he was driving came rushing back, and it was so much worse.

He tasted salt. Tears. They were back and streaming down his face, dropping onto the metal.

"Damn it," he muttered, and then reached in through the open to grab the first thing clothe his hand touched.

He wiped blindly, but when he lowered the material and looked down, it was all he could do to keep from puking.

It was the old grey shirt Naruto used to wear all the time. It was slightly ratty, and the letters were beginning to fade from so many washes, but Sasuke could still read it. Go Army.

The fight went out of him. Sasuke sunk to the ground, leaning his back on the wheel. For the first time since he got the news three months ago, he let himself just cry. He didn't wipe the tears, didn't slow his breathing to make them stop, he just cried. The shirt was still in his hand, and he pulled it to his chest, almost like a teddy bear.

Naruto wore it everywhere, even before he enlisted. Unlike Sasuke, his family barely made ends meet. His dad never went to college, and there was no money to send Naruto either. His only option in that town was to be an on-call mechanic, like his dad, barely scraping by.

So, in true Naruto fashion, he blazed a new trail. While Sasuke studied at university, Naruto went through basic training. By the time Sasuke graduated, Naruto had already been overseas, and would be going back after his six month leave.

He had been wearing that shirt the night before he left. They had gone for a drive, just like old time, and parked by the pond to watch the stars. Naruto hadn't been afraid. It wasn't in his nature, and he told Sasuke so.

On that dark night he told Sasuke everything. They were lying in the back, the warm summer breeze filling the space between them.

"I don't know how long I'll be gone," Naruto said, "but I promise to be thinking of you the whole time."

"Don't be an idiot," Sasuke snapped back. "If some fucker is firing at you, don't waste your time thinking about me. Think about getting yourself out of there alive."

Naruto laughed a little. "Who needs to think? I'm so good, if I thought it wouldn't be fair to the other guy."

"All is fair in love and war."

Naruto was quiet for a while, and then leaned over and in a very small voice asked, "So is this fair?"

His lips were on Sasuke's, feather-light and barely lasting a moment. He pulled back, blue eyes searching for a reaction of some kind.

"Yeah, I'd say that's pretty fair."

It was hot and rough, but neither regretted it when they were done. Sasuke smirked when Naruto decided not put his shirt back on and leave his hicky-covered body exposed, saying that it was unnecessary in the summer.

He must have thrown it in the back seat. Sasuke hadn't let himself think about that night. The whole town knew he'd lost a good friend. They understood that pain. No one knew he'd lost someone much, much more.

Sasuke held the shirt to his face, letting the soft fabric soak up the still flowing tears.

It didn't smell like Naruto anymore. Just dust.

For hours he sat there, leaning against the truck wheel. He never considered using his phone to call for a ride, and he never found the strength to get up when he heard it ring.

And that's where he was still when the moon was up and a pair of headlights pulled onto the field. Sasuke didn't look up when someone got out and walked over to him. He didn't look over when the person sank to the ground next to him.

"You sure did a number here," Itachi observed. "Dad's going to be pissed."

Sasuke made a noncommittal grunt.

Itachi sighed. Gently he reached over put an arm around his brother's shoulder.

"I know you miss him. I would say we all do, but I know it's not the same. Just remember, he wouldn't want you wrecking yourself like this. Out of everyone, Naruto was always the one who believed in you most."

"What good is that? He's left me all alone!" Sasuke demanded.

"You're not alone. You have friends and family here waiting. Just give us a chance to help," Itachi pleaded.

Sasuke scoffed. "I am alone. Naruto was more than a friend, more than family. He was…he was everything."

Itachi leaned over, letting his dark hair touch his brother's. "I know."

"You don't know anything!"

"Yes, I do," Itachi repeated calmly. "I've always known. You don't have to do this by yourself. You don't have to keep it all in. Let me help you."

Sasuke turned his head. He never wanted his older brother to see him cry, but the shaking in his shoulders gave away any attempt at hiding it.

"Come on. Let's go home."

**********One Month Later**********

Sasuke wasn't sure if he was supposed to stand or sit. Itachi had told him to just do what feels right, but being there, on that grassy plot, nothing felt right.

"I miss you," Sasuke said. "Some days I hate you for leaving, some days I'm proud of you for how brave you were, but I always miss you. And I always love you."

It felt weird, talking to a stone, but apparently people did it all the time and it helped bring closure.

"I'm sorry I didn't come earlier, and to be honest I don't know if I'll come again. Don't think I'm forgetting you! There's no chance of that, but I am trying to go forward and places like this always made me uncomfortable.

"But you know that. That's why you dared me to spend the night here freshman year. I told you it was no big deal, but I was scared shitless. But then you came, and you told me dirty jokes until I didn't even think about where we were. You helped me through then, and I damn well expect you to help me though now."

Sasuke walked closer to the stone. He knelt down, letting his fingers trace the carved words.

_Naruto Uzumaki_

_A beloved son_

_A strong spirit_

_A dear friend_

_May he be remembered for _

_His courage and sacrifice _

_1990-2013_

"I miss you so much," Sasuke mumbled, feeling the glad that rested in front of the stone. "Some days it's just too much."

With that he stood back up. "But I'll get through. Places like this don't help. I can't feel you, but I have a way of coping now, and I'm sure you're laughing your ass off at the irony of it all."

He began walking away. There, waiting for him at the front of the cemetery was that old orange truck.

When he got to the door, he turned and offered Naruto one final salute.

"I hope you don't mind, but I drive your truck."

**This was completely inspired by Lee Brice's song I Drive Your Truck. It's a beautiful song, and definitely worth listening to. Most of the details come from the lyrics directly. **

**As always, I don't own Naruto, Sasuke, and any of the Konoha cast. **

**If you don't like SasuNaru, then I don't really get why you clicked on this story. But no flames.**

**Hope this was at least a bit enjoyable**

**Peace Out**


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